[English accent] That was a nasty fall.
Really nasty.
Please. I did that on purpose.
Anyone can land on their feet.
Thanks, Norman.
You're sure you aren't in pain?
I'm fine.
Too bad.
I was going to kiss it and make it better.
Ahh! Ahh! Searing pain.
Oh, my poor baby! Are you ok?
I'll kiss it and make the boo-boo better.
I-I-I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ok. Ok.
Well, you still wanna go to the movie,
movie buddies?
Yeah, about that...
You see, we met Jessica and Janice at the park,
and we thought we'd go with them.
Great! We could all go, just the 5 of us. It'll be fun.
Or--and I'm just spitballin' here--
we could go,
then give you a vivid description of what you missed.
Oh. I get it.
You wanna be grown-ups.
Ok. Don't worry. You'll barely know I'm there.
Busy street. Hold mommy's hands.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
I can't believe I got detention again.
I can't believe you landed your helicopter
on the front steps of the school.
The downdraft turned sister Dominick into an actual flying nun.
Oh, hey, Brandon.
What's up, maddie?
You got the candy delivery?
Yeah, but, um, the air conditioning
in the truck is broken,
so everything sort of melted together.
Here's your order of jelly beans.
Yeah.
He's hot,
with a capital hhhh.
I can't believe my boss is a millionaire,
but he won't spend a dime
to fix his own trucks.
Man, rich people can be really obnoxious.
You're tellin' me.
I think they're nomoxious, too.
You? But you're filthy--
poor. Starvingly, filthy poor.
Oh. Then, uh, maybe I should take you out to dinner.
Here's my number.
Call soon, before they shut off the phone.
I will.
Hah. So you're gonna pretend to be poor.
I bet you will never pull that off.
Bet I can. Heh. You're on.
It'll be easy.
I'll just wear bad clothes,
ugly shoes, and cheap makeup.
Like you. Heh.
[Whistling]
Mom, have a seat.
Am I in trouble?
Yes.
Carey...
We know it's difficult to make the transition
from doting mother to aging cat lady.
But-- you're crampin' our style, mom.
We're not kids anymore.
We want a little more freedom.
Well, ok. Ok. I get your point. You're growin' up.
How about I let you cut your own spaghetti?
Deal. Please,
will you let me handle this?
We wanna go to the movies at night
with our dates, but without you.
But we're movie buddies.
We had some laughs,
but we all knew this wouldn't last forever.
Well, I can change. I'll--
please.
It's not you. It's us.
Don't make this harder than it has to be.
We can still be friends.
I can't believe my kids are breaking up with me.
Ok. Ok.
But I'm driving you there,
and I get to approve the movie.
Deal.
What about that spaghetti thing?
That's piggybacked on to this, right?
Maddie, do I look poor?
Yes.
Except for the diamond necklace.
But it's only 20 carats.
Ok, fine.
Ohh!
"What is going on?" He asked nervously
she has a date with Brandon,
so she's trying to pass for poor.
Wait till she finds out she has to take the subway.
Oh. Heh.
The what?
The subway.
It's the train that runs underground.
Oh, stop making up stuff to scare me.
Oh, hey, London. You ready to go?
Yes.
I am poor. Heh. And ready.
Oh, don't even worry about it.
The subway's on me.
It's real?
Ok. Now, you might wanna buy a candy bar, so here's another $20.
Thanks, mom.
Bye. Drive safe.
Why is she still here?
To remind you not to see anything inappropriate,
like bullet sandwich or zombie mom.
Fine, but when you pick us up, no hugging
and no calling us "my little men."
Why don't you just rip my heart out?
I think that's how zombie mom ends.
Hi, girls. I'm not here.
Just dropped off my little men.
Oh, I'm sorry. My bad.
Hi, Zack. Hi, Cody.
Hi, Cody. Hi, Zack.
Hello, ladies.
[Both giggle]
We'll get the tickets.
You girls get the snacks.
Whatever you want, it's on us.
Thank you.
American money is so odd.
Yes, really odd.
And their queen looks rather mannish.
Come on. I don't want doggie come home to sell out.
It got 2 tails up.
We are not going to some kiddie movie
with the 2 hottest girls in school.
If we see zombie mom, they'll be so scared,
they'll be in our laps.
Oh. Good point.
Unfortunately mom told us not to go see a scary movie,
so we can't.
Oh. Well, mom's not here, so we can.
I'd like 4 tickets to zombie mom, please.
Zombie mom, huh?
How old are you?
Well, I don't know. Why don't you ask George Washington?
There you go. Enjoy the movie.
[Suspenseful music playing]
[Thunk]
[Audience screams]
[Musical jolt]
Ohh!
[Audience screams]
I gotta say, aah.
You were right about going to see zombie mom.
Although I found the story line thin
and the blood-drinking scene gratuitous,
it scared the snot out of Janice,
and she held on to me the whole time.
Yeah. Great flick.
I could tell you liked it by your screaming.
I was not screaming. I was cheering.
Don't you turn out that light!
Or what?
You'll "cheer" again.
I am not scared.
You see?
It's just a movie.
I know there are no such thing as zombie moms.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Why are we screaming?!
I just came in to say good night!
Why is your face green, and do you have a craving for human flesh?
It's a face mask, and do I have a what for what?
Nothing. He said nothing.
What's gotten you so freaked out?
Did you two go to see that scary movie?
No. Absolutely not.
B-but doggie come home had some very intense moments.
Like when that pigeon divebombed doggie.
[Shudders]
It's only a movie.
Now go to sleep.
That was close.
I'll say.
We pulled it off, though.
I hope.
Now get out of my bed, you goof.
[Thud]
What in the world is all of this--
ohh! Oh, my word. Ohh.
[Grunting]
Yaaah!
Ohh! It's a new time.
Who put all-- uhh. [Sighs]
Who put all--
[snores]
Welcome to the tipton.
2 questions pop to mind.
Number one, why is my night manager asleep at his post?
And number 2, who barricaded the doors?
O-ok, obviously I don't know the answer to number 2
'cause of the whole number one thing,
but, uh...
Uh, were we talking about number 2 or number one?
Ok! [Stammers]
Never mind.
Just help me move this stuff, sparky.
[Elevator dings]
Ohh. Good morning.
What are you doing up? It's not even noon yet.
Well, I couldn't wait to tell you that I really like Brandon,
and our date went great.
He never suspected that I was rich.
I even dove to the ground for a penny.
Did you know they're round?
I've heard rumors.
You know, being poor isn't that tough.
I don't know why you're always complaining about it.
Uh, because I don't do it just for 2 hours,
then come home and soak in a solid-gold tub.
The toilet is gold.
The bathtub is platinum.
You can't keep this up. Eventually he's gonna find out you're rich.
Oh, we'll cross that bridge when daddy buys it.
Oh. Hey, what's up, London?
Wow. Fancy threads.
Um, these.
I, uh, made them
at the sweatshop, where I work.
When I'm not working here.
Wh-which I am right now.
Oh, oh, so you're both working today.
Heh.
No. What?
Actually, I'm off my shift right now.
It's all London's.
Ok.
Well, nice seein' ya. Bye.
Oh, no, I actually have a lot more stuff for you,
so I'm gonna be in and out of here for a while.
Isn't that great?
Yes. It is.
[Knock on door]
Come in, Mr. clooney.
It's not Mr. clooney. It's Mr. moseby.
Then go away.
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I need to see your twin hooligans.
Hooligans, it's for you!
Mr. moseby.
What a pleasant surprise?
You did it.
No, we didn't. We didn't do it.
What didn't we do?
Oh, you two know what you two did do, do.
All right, when you start babbling,
it's time for me to step in. What's going on?
These two moved all of the lobby furniture
and put it in front of the doors.
I--no, we didn't.
Don't worry, Mr. moseby.
I'll find out the truth.
Boys, did you do it?
No. No.
Pinky swear?
Pinky swear. Pinky swear.
There you have it.
Oh, that proves it. Yeah.
Because in court, you swear on a stack of pinkies.
Moseby isn't a morning person.
Or afternoon.
I remember one evening at 9:12, he was kinda nice.
I can't believe moseby accused us.
We weren't even in the lobby last night.
[Ding]
Did your butt just ding?
Why is the bell from the lobby in my bed?
Ooh. You did do it.
I did not. I--I was in my bed all night.
I even remember having this weird dream.
I was piling stuff against the doors to keep the zombies ou--
ooh. I did do it.
Uh, but how did I do it?
You must have been sleepwalking
because the movie freaked you out.
It did not freak me out.
Zombie! Where?!
[Ding]
Ok, maybe it freaked me out a little bit.
This is bad.
If mom sees you sleepwalking,
she'll realize we went to that scary movie.
And she'll treat us like kids until our kids have kids.
Ok, tonight, we'll surround you with noisy booby traps.
That way, if you start sleepwalking,
you'll wake yourself up. Oh, and one more thing.
What? Zombie. Where?!
That never gets old.
[Punching keys on the cash register]
Ohh!
I told you to stop that!
Ohh!
Oh, it's go time.
[Whacking register]
London?
Uh...
Just, uh, changing the tapey thing.
Stick around, Brandon.
Next she's going to wrastle the ice machine.
Ok, that's it.
Happy Halloween! Whaah!
I have to get out of here. I need a break.
Oh, cool, 'cause I've got just the thing.
[Gasping] What is it?
A massage? A hot-stone sauna?
No, no. I have a coupon for this great place I know.
Look, we can split a burger.
It's 10 minutes by subway.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm not taking the subway, I'm not splitting a burger,
and I'm not paying with a coupon, whatever that is.
I wanna take my limo to Chez Robert
and have the duck a l'orange with truffles.
Yo, I don't think I have a coupon for that, though.
I don't need a coupon.
I'm gonna use this little thing called money.
Brandon: Where are you gonna get it?
I don't get it. I got it. Get it?
I'm rich, stinkin' rich.
I have a stretch limo so long it only goes straight.
If I wanna turn a corner, I have to change limos.
Ok, so--so I'm gettin' the sense that you're rich.
[Mocking] ♪ I knew you couldn't do it ♪
♪ I knew you couldn't do it ♪
Why did you lie to me?
Because I liked you,
and you said you hated rich people.
Yeah, when they're pushy and mean,
but I mean, you're wonderful,
so sweet, and down-to-earth.
Ohh.
Ok, either London's a much better actress than I thought,
or you're dumber than a wheel of cheese.
Dang, maddie.
You're poor and mean.
Let's leave her in her bitterness.
Have you ever gone swimming in a limo?
Oh, no, but I would love to.
Oh, let's go. Ok.
Oh, for all I care, you could drown in that limo!
Like the lifeguard would let that happen.
Oh. What's with all the candy?
Looks like a piata threw up.
London just tried to take my shift,
but she couldn't handle being working class.
Which means I was right, and she was wrong, so I win!
So you win! Ah!
Yes! Yay!
Oh, it is just wonderful, Madeline.
I'm so proud of you.
Here's your trophy.
[Monotone] Must stop zombies.
Zombies. Must stop zombies.
Zombies.
[Bubble wrap pops]
Bubble wrap.
[Popping]
[Laughs]
[Monotone] Zombies.
Zombies. Must stop zombies.
Aha! I caught you red-handed!
Ho ho! Ok, mister.
Let's have a little talk about this, shall we?
Yes, you're the one who's putting all the furnit--
wh-where are you going?
Whoa, whoa. Listen. I want you to listen to me, young man.
I don't want you putting any more furnit-- what are you doing?
Where were you when I moved out of my parents' place?
Mm, Zack.
Are you ok?
Zack.
Aah!
[Yells] [Popping]
Ohh!
Cody?
[Yell]
Honey?
[Bubble wrap popping]
Honey, are you ok?
Cody, what happened?
Uh, I was going to save you airfare
and ship myself to grandma's.
Where's Zack?
And what's the bell from the hotel lobby doing in your room?
Sleeping. Shh.
It was Zack who messed up the lobby.
And you pinky swore!
Uhh!
Mom, wait! Come back!
Now, Zack, stop it.
Yes. Stop zombies.
No. Stop redecorating.
Oh, Carey, please, control your son.
Zack. Zack. [Ding]
Wait! Unh!
Carey: Oh!
[Grunts]
Wow. This stuff is great.
I didn't feel a thing.
[Sighs]
Zack. Zackary, what are you doing?
He's sleepwalking.
Oh ho. Sleepwalking.
You expect me to believe that?
[Shatters] Aah!
Sorry, zombie.
Zombie? What's going on?
Zombie? Did he say, "zombie"?
No! He said...
Mombie, combie, dombie, fombie, uh...
I got nothin'.
You went to see zombie mom?
Pfft. No. What would make you think that?
Must stop zombie mom.
Heh heh. Again, I got nothin'.
Zack.
Zack, honey.
Zack. Zack, wake up.
You can't wake him up. I have tried everything.
Zack, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes!
Cool! I'll have 12.
Hey, where am I?
Why am I in the lobby? In my pajamas?
Although as silly outfits go, I come in second.
You were sleepwalking,
trying to protect yourself from zombie moms.
Well, that's odd,
because we didn't see that movie, right, Cody?
It was Zack's idea.
Thanks, man.
I can't believe I gave you the freedom that you asked for,
and then you abused it.
Well, I don't find it hard to believe.
Well, first of all, you are going to put back all of this furniture,
and secondly, you ever disobey me again,
you are going to wish you had a zombie mom.
Remember that with more freedom
comes more responsibility.
I'm sorry, mom.
Me, too.
Although one good thing came out of this.
What? Zombie!
Where?!
That just keeps gettin' better.
[Sentimental music playing]
[Yawns]
Ahem.
Honey, got a butter blob, uhh, right there.
Eww.
Man: Is that doggie?
[Doggie barks]
By gum, it is. Here, boy.
[Arf arf]
[Sniffles]
[Doggie whimpers]
Look. Doggie came home.
Ohh. Ohh.
[Movie music builds to ending]